Thinking Outside the Box (for once!)

So I bragged in the last post I typed about holding my own with productivity. I then posted pictures of Mason and neglected to mention what I did that was actually productive. So if you are like us, having two large pets at home, and don't feel the need to spend another $60-$150 every time they tear their beds or kennels into chunks, see what I rigged up below.

Dog beds are ridiculously expensive. They don't sleep in them anyway; our dogs prefer to lay on the air vents that blow cold air so no one else feels any. We had moved their beds into the kennels, but they were destroyed by a summer of camping detritus. We did our seasonal clean and had to eighty-six all of it. But I can't leave them in bare kennels because that feels mean. It would be like leaving Mason in a room without a bed and telling him to sleep there. But I also can't sew and I'm not the most creative person, so what was a girl to do? Here it is in step-by-step format.

1. Clean kennels; try really hard not to gag as you throw away the mess that used to be in them. Use dish soap that promises to cut through anything, and be tough on odors even on plastic items. Hose them down; "accidentally" hit the curious dogs with cold hose water.

2. Let kennel pieces dry in the sun; pray it stays warm long enough for this to happen.

3. Realize you have nothing to put inside them; the dogs will have to stay out while you go to the store. It's kind of like a gamble. (We still aren't sure how Rio got the red Sharpie she chewed up in the middle of the living room once when we left her out on purpose; it was seriously put away in a drawer. We think she might have superpowers. We also aren't sure how Kevin got it out of our carpet. He also might have superpowers.)

4. Irritate your cranky kid by dragging him to Costco, Petco, and finally Target on a desperate search for something to put in the kennels that won't require you to dip into his college fund. Anyone priced dog beds lately? Or even the things they specifically make to pad kennels? If your dog is larger than say, a purse, it gets expensive quickly. Grab a few things with a rough idea of what you're going to do with them while your kid is screaming at the top of his lungs that he wants to go home. You will need: a queen sized foam mattress, two twin-sized fitted sheets, and reliable scissors. Pay as quickly as possible and chuck it all into the back of the truck while the cart is still in motion because if you stop your kid will climb out.

5. Head home to put the mostly dry kennels back together in the dark while your previously cranky kid asks repeatedly if he can climb in the tunnel and if you think his trucks will fit in the gaps where the bottom and top of the kennel fit together. (I said no, but his fingers might. I know because I've tried it with my own fingers. He resorted to climbing on top of the kennels to play but was not crying so I let him be.)

6. After kennels are together, take one queen sized foam pad ($22.99 at Target) and figure out the best way to cut it in half to fit both kennels. Cut it lengthwise and fold each section in half. Wrap a twin-sized fitted sheet around each part ($7.99 each at Target). Wrap it around the back/bottom first and then finally lap the sheet over itself so none of the stretchy parts or the foam is visible to the dog with superpowers who can probably undo your 10 minutes of work with nothing but sheer will on her side.

7. Fit each portion into the appropriate kennel, making sure you arrange colors so your husband won't accuse you of trying to turn the boy dog into a girl. Realize that, during your child's hissy fit, you paid no attention to what colors you grabbed and maybe you could've put more thought into this... but yellow is better than bubble gum blue for a boy, right? Maybe?

Total cost: $39 ($19.50 each) and just a small portion of my sanity. However, none of these items were on clearance so I know I should be able to reconstruct this, at the listed price or less, any time we have an unfortunate kennel-related incident. Plus, the sheets are more washable than the beds were, and these are the same materials those $70 beds were made from.

Needless to say, I was pretty proud of myself for rigging this up. Plus if I end up recreating it, I might need these instructions.