Book Review: If I Am Missing or Dead...

This book is advertised as being a "Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation". I was off the mark as far as the contents. I had seen the story of Amy Latus' death on the murder/mystery-style show that I believe is a sub-category of Dateline, but don't quote me on that. Ultimately, I thought it was a sad and classic story of an abused woman who met an untimely death at the hands of a man who was supposed to love her.

This is true for the last portion of the book. However, the author can't write about what she doesn't know, and her sister had kept the whole family in the dark about the nature of her relationship. So, Janine opts instead to write a story of the history of domestic abuse she and her sister allowed into their lives. She begins from childhood forward, and it quickly becomes clear why Janine allows it to happen, and why Amy does, too. The reasons behind it are similar, but their experiences were a different. Janine faces a pattern of sexual abuse that is both somewhat graphic and vague, depending on the source. Their dad is a smarmy creep who engages in a series of inappropriate things, but none of them could be classified as sexual assault. As described by Janine, it's a look he gives or a comment he makes. Amy, whose parents divorce when she is starting high school, is simply looking for someone to love her, and makes allowances of physical, emotional, and mental abuse when she believes she has found someone to love her in her alcoholic husband. Both sisters eventually leave their unhealthy relationships. Janine is barely on her own, her divorce just beginning, with a young daughter to support when Amy is reported missing. Amy has been on her own for several years, and put her trust in the wrong man again.

Looking back, and through Janine's narrative, the problems that exist are clear. It's no surprise when Amy is missing, but it's still heartbreaking. I kept hoping for a different ending, even though I knew how it had all played out.

This book is a journey with this family through some very difficult times. It made me more grateful for the family that I have and the things I have never had to deal with. It helped me understand how strong, beautiful, intelligent women get sucked into relationships and why they stay. Above all, I pulled out rooting for the writer. I hope wherever she is, she is happy and healthy, and her life is all the better for leaving such an unhealthy realtionship and unhappy life behind. I hope the cycle is broken in her daughter. And I hope that her sister, wherever she is, is now at peace. I gave this book four stars at Good Reads, but if I had the option, I think it would have been 3 1/2.